This week our talented Southampton girlies went international. After a late take off and a brief return to Southampton (a certain president forgot to bring the away hats), we finally arrived in the land of the sheep – Wales! As we boldly marched across the border, Smithy showed true patriotism by belting in her best Welsh accent the Welsh national anthem. Some may argue this is treason, but there’s just something about sheep that gives her butterflies. The girls kept the vibes pure with a karaoke sesh, singing one hit wonders such as the SUWPC covers of You Belong With Me and Jar of Hearts by Smith and Grace. 

On this mythical day of Cardiff away, the sun shone a little too brightly through the glass panes which surrounded the pool, meaning this report is probably a very inaccurate depiction of what really happened this fateful match as none of us actually saw it. 

Skelton kicks off the match for us by racing in the first swim off, narrowly missing the ball. The opposition scores 2 goals before VP Smithy, feeling the vibes of her motherland, launches the ball into the net to score our first goal of many. Very soon we realise how badly we underestimated this sunny day, as our passes become a guessing game. Luckily for us we have coach Thomas shouting out where the ball is to make our guesses more accurate. Our next goal comes from our undercover ‘fresher’ Miss Lancaster (one of us) – her first goal with SUWPC! At this point Cardiff are clearly in the lead, so Ratledge and Skelton decide they are fed up and begin drowning their opponents, landing them both consecutive exclusions (our captain is beginning to set a trend). The first quarter ends on 8-2 to the Welsh (or 9-1 because our VP is a dragon on technicality). 

Our TJ swimmer turned poloer Miss West is speedy as she wins her first swim off of the match, a little scrap was needed to maintain possession because she didn’t flick it very far but oopsie. A Welsh exclusion then gives the girls an opportunity to set up a neat man up, resulting in a goal from post from your one and only muscle mummy. Cardiff are scoring goals everywhere and Smithy, feeling goofy, takes her defence strategy a little too seriously and gets herself a kick out. However, she redeems herself by scoring a beautiful goal from outside 6m in the last minute of quarter numero 2, leaving the scoreline on 18-4 (unfortunately not to SUWPC).

The quarter 3 swim off is Skelton’s once again. Cardiff may have won the ball, but Smith wins a penalty which she bravely takes and tragically misses. Immediately after this Smithy, having learned to egg beat in her third year, shows the ref her opponents interesting hand placement and wins us a man up. Naturally, Miss Skelton takes this opportunity to make a lovely dry pass straight to the Cardiff goalie because she is just too nice. Miss Ratledge is also feeling generous as she gifts Cardiff a penalty, which Rowland I’m sure loved her for deeply, if not the cheering Cardiff bench certainly did. My captain then goes on to score 2 fantastic goals to round off the quarter with a score of 23-7 (don’t think we’re winning this one).

SUWPC lined up for the final quarter of this hideously blind match. West effortlessly wins the ball because she is speed, this time flicking the ball past Smithy on the left post and all the way back to muscle mummy in pit attack – she’s mastered the swim off, she is power. Your Southampton baddies set up an arc for the first attack of the quarter and a perfect pass into pit to Bugnar lets her whack the ball into the net. Cardiff then proceed to score a few more goals, but Miss West breaks their streak by swimming up on wing and putting the ball in that goal. The crowd goes wild as our TJ for the day scores her first goal for the club! For the rest of the game Cardiff counter us too many times to count. When the final whistle blows the score is 35-9 to Cardiff.

Despite the somewhat large goal difference, we celebrate the highest number of goals scored by SUWPC so far in the Prem. Even though we got battered by Cardiff (we are used to it now) and we could not see the whole match because of the sun and the chlorine, SUWPC once again kept the spirits high and the vibes even higher. Keep up the hard work and diabolical passes ladies!

Written by Iris Bugnar.

Most Valuable Player: Miss Carmen West our incredible TJ of the day for scoring her first goal for the club (SO PROUD OF YOU)! With an honorary mention to Miss Lancaster who also scored hers, LOOK at our freshers!!!

Dick of the Day: The sun for blinding everyone. At least she wasn’t bias.

Goals/Majors:

Neve Rowland 0/0

Izzy Saunders 0/0

Katie Smith 2/1

Elosie Viney 0/0

Jess Firth 0/0

Immy Lancaster 1/0

Georgia Skelton 1/1

Lottie Ratledge 2/2

Iris Bugnar 2/0

Carmen West 1/0