We love the prem… we lost again <3 (24/11)

With the girls tired from their tournament on Saturday, and coincidentally hungover, the Jubilee pool was blessed by the presence of the SUWPC women. It was a home match in our actual home pool (thanks Cardiff for playing in our non-reg pool). After struggling to find somewhere to park, Cardiff rocked up but without their hats!!! Flashbacks to Wednesday when we did the exact same thing, we graciously lent them our spare set. The seats were filling up rapidly and the supporters were in high spirits! Everyone (spectators too) was made aware of the pressure on a certain fresher Firth to take a shot else it was bye-bye to an eyebrow.

The match swiftly started with a losing swim off and speedy Cardiff having the ball which resulted in their first goal (of a fair few), within the starting 30 seconds. Cardiff’s number 11 enjoyed shooting and gained them another 2 goals within 2 minutes (Neve was not impressed with our defending). After Cardiff’s fifth goal, Lottie’s first of what should’ve been many majors occurred. However, this was swiftly followed by a gorgeous shot by Miss Skelton – an uproar of cheers filled jubilee. In an un-shocking turn of events Cardiff’s number 11 scored another goal to finish the quarter 6-1.

Encouraging support from Captain Lottie and Coach Finn readied us for the second quarter. The first minute passed with Cardiff scoring and our goal scorer Georgia gaining herself a major. A similar pattern continued with more goals from Cardiff and another exclusion from our major queen Miss Lottie Rat, leaving the second quarter’s half time score at 10-1. The mighty stag’s women were not feeling defeated as our fearsome goalie sensationally stopped Cardiff’s goals. The goals for our strong women’s team commenced with an incredible goal from our Captain. This was followed up with a goal from our VP Smithy after being kicked in the vagina! The support from everyone in the pool and on the side was incredible motivation, sadly this quickly diminished with Cardiff scoring three times in the final minute. The second quarter ended 13-3, Southampton’s women were now slightly further behind than we were hoping.

After too short of a break the starting 7 were back in and ready, with VP Smithy taking over pit D from our major queen Captain. Fresher Jess had decided after her 30 second appearance she would become a bench warmer for the rest of the match. It wasn’t looking good for her eyebrows. The support from the crowd and tactics from Finn finally started to sink in as not a single goal was scored in the first two minutes. WOOHOOOO!!!!! You might as well call us the professionals (we’ll ignore the major from Miss Bugner xx). Georgia Skelton was back with the ball and continued to fire shots at the net bringing the score to 15-4. We graciously let Cardiff feel included as they scored another goal… don’t worry they returned the favour as Miss Rat scored her second goal!!!!! IT WAS OUR TIME TO SHINE!!! Our infamous diva-up formation came into action from a Cardiff kickout and the lucky supporters were in for a treat. It was an intense 20 seconds. Everyone was on the edge of their seats. Smithy, having been forced to be a replacement pit D, looked over to the wing and noticed there was Captain Lottie and someone else would have to shoot (terrifying), “where’s mummy why isn’t she on top” – Katie Smith 2024. The pressure wasn’t too much for mighty Smithy… SHE SCORES! The quarter finished on a spectacular 17-6 to Cardiff.

The fourth and final quarter began with our invincible Neve guarding our goal like a soldier. Despite all her blocks their number 11 slipped one past her. These desperate times called for desperate measures; Miss Rat should not have been let back in the pool at this point. Let’s just say our referee Ed had some chlorine in his eyes that clouded his judgment of what should have been a major. It clearly didn’t phase Cardiff though, their shots just kept coming. Never fear, our speediest fresh Carmen came to the rescue, sprinting up and down the pool before jamming one into the back of the net. Two games in a row for this fresher!! We were on fire, IT WAS A HATRICK FOR VP SMITHY, SHE SCORED AGAIN FROM PIT D!!!!! Feeling the excitement Miss Rat went into drowning mode, Cardiff were clearly trying to get back into the game but Lottie was not having it. Despite her best-efforts Cardiff weren’t phased and got in another 3 goals before the end of the match. A respectable final score 21-8!

Written by Carmen West and Jess Firth.

MVP: Katie Smith for her gorgeous Hattrick!

Dick of the Day: Bench warming fresher Jess (we still love you queen).

Honorable mention… the eyebrows were saved on welfare grounds xx

Goals/Majors:

Neve Rowland 0/0

Isobel Neighbour 0/0

Eleanna Fairhurst 0/0

Katie Smith 3/0

Rain Chatterjee 0/0

Jess Firth 0/0

Imogen Lancaster 0/0

Georgia Skelton 2/1

Alice Hunter 0/0

Charlotte Ratledge 2/2

Iris Bugnar 0/1