Report Author: Char Davis

Game: SUWPC Ladies vs Essex Ladies

Location: Jubilee

Score: 20-3

Date: 01/03/2020


Much talk was had pre-game, with of course no pressure from the boys telling us we only ‘had to get the win’ so a rather nervous ladies team took on a never seen before Essex team. They arrived early and keen to get in the pool but were tactically directed to stags for booze and pizza by Esme. An hour and a fifteen minutes later, the SUWPC ladies arrived to an Essex team very keen to start as soon as possible, some say it was the jager bombs in stags, but more likely the prospect of the 4-hour drive of shame they had to look forward to after the game. Stunned by the lack of fake tan, we agreed to start as quickly as possible, set the pool up quickly and the game began.

The game started with an early press from the SUWPC but to no success. The Essex girls swiftly countered and scored the first goal on the score sheet. Now that we had all woken up, our captain showed us how it was done with our first goal of the game, followed by a break and goal from me (char) and another from Emma. We ended the quarter with a major from both sides, score at the end of Q1 3-1.

As we entered the second quarter, the game started to open up and Rhia pinged two into the back of the net, within 30 seconds of each other. Clearly, her extra-curricular lesson with the SUWPC Sec are paying off. This was followed by two goals from Esme and another from Rhia. Having recovered from my drowning, a penalty was awarded and I wasn’t really sure what to do. After desperately trying to persuade any other member of the team to take it, shouting loudly “I’m gonna miss” and “do I have to take it?”, Trev was getting impatient. I just managed to slip it in the top corner before he blew the whistle for me taking too long. Oops! Soz lads 🙂 The quarter ended with SUWPC girls 9-1 up.

Quarter three began with a quick goal from Esme but was quickly countered by Essex. Throughout the game, Emma scored about 4 goals that bounced off the bar and were not counted. Obviously annoyed by this, she racked up her second major, giving away a penalty. With a fantastic save from meg, the score stayed firmly at 10-2. Having figured out Essex’s slightly strange technique of playing the ball back to the goalie from the middle, we made some great strong presses to use this to our advantage and gain goals from Rhia, Emma and Adele. The quarter ended with another goal for Emma leaving us 14-2 up.

Tom, being the serious and strategic coach that he is, gave us a new mission for the final quarter: ‘mission clean sweep scoresheet’ (every single player on the team must get a goal). Some interesting polo then followed. Rhia started us off with yet another goal, followed by a great first goal for Abbie (she managed to yeet the ball into the goal instead of over her head this time!). The task was now simple. Natalia to score. This took several attempts. Our distraction did mean that Essex managed to slip a goal behind our back, but considering the goal-scorer declared “that’s netball for you” after getting in the net (I think someone may have got on the wrong minibus), we weren’t too worried anymore.

After another goal from Abbie, a series of passes in front of the goal tricked us into thinking we had done it, however we seemed to have forgotten the 2m rule. Several more attempts, and instruction from Tom for Natalia to “ditch her player and get up the pool” and finally Natalia scored!!! Mission accomplished. Tom proceeded to sit down and state that his job here was done. We finished off the game with Rhia and Emma scoring another each to bring the score to a nice round 20-3. In the final seconds, Meg attempted to get in on the mission and score from her goal; but the game came to an unfortunate end. None of us can throw that far anyway. The girls celebrated with an interesting photoshoot by resident photographer Alex, before heading to Stags for pints and pizza to celebrate a much-needed win.


Women of the Match

Could have gone to anyone but it has to be Rhia and Emma with 5 goals each and fantastic breaks. They carried us to a comfortable lead allowing mission clean sweep scoresheet to commence.

Dick of the Day

Has to go to Abbie for the most spectacular panic pass I have ever seen. Throwing it backwards blindly over your head is obviously the best way to act in that situation.


Megan Morecroft – 0 – 0

Emma Critchley – 5 – 2

Natalia Tsouka – 1 – 0

Abbie Turner – 2 – 0

Rhia Perks – 5 – 0

Esme Poole – 4 – 0

Charlotte Davis – 2 – 0

Adele Potts – 1 – 0




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