Soton’s biggest boys are back in town with a brand-new squad of freshers to help them take on the league, and on the 9th of October we had a chance to show BUCS the threat that we had become. 

We start the first quarter with Michael Scott only having to stretch his arms to yoink the ball and win us the first swim off. Exquisite start, how could this game not go in our favour? Well let me tell you. In spite of gaining first possession of the ball, a long few minutes of back and forth ensued before Surrey slotted 2 consecutive goals into our net. Fortunately, a penalty was secured in our favour and captain my captain Mr Howard Teng brought the scoreline to 1-2 by the end of the quarter.

Our second quarter started off with a goal from each team, Samuel Dalton equalising Surrey’s advantage followed swiftly by 4 consecutive exclusions. First to go was Fernando Alvarez, who was clearly upset but not as upset as he would be with VP Smithy when he realised she had possibly outed this silly fresh on the instagram story. Next up were 2 exclusions of the Surrey boys, and obviously capitalising from these man-up situations were too straight forward, so the Soton lads decided they were above scoring and chose to lose possession of the ball. Both times. Womp womp. To round up the first half of the game Alex Wilmshurst earned himself a major which Surrey managed to score off, ending the quarter 2-4.

A tight scoreline was looking optimistic at half time, all the boys had to do was get their shit together and put on a good show. However, it seemed that we had all taken laxatives for dinner and developed performance anxiety.

The third quarter started off a bit tedious with Surrey pulling ahead with 2 goals, but the debutant John Nelson managed to capitalise off a man up (someone had to show the returners how it was done) and slot it into the net. Our lovely president Finn Thomas was so thrilled with this that he went straight ahead and got himself excluded. After another goal from Surrey, Dalton managed to return the favour by scoring but the quarter ended 4-8 after another concession. Would at this point like to big up Mr Sam Ellis who had been on peak form, the power of some of the shots that he was blocking would probably be enough to break the tension after the match. Anyway, at some point this quarter one of our freshers, Max Björkman, injured his shoulder and designated himself as bench warmer for the rest of the game. A choice that is definitely not going to haunt him at the end of this match report.

Even I’m not delusional enough to try and sugarcoat the last quarter. It was foul. Mr Scott speed runs his first exclusion in a whopping 9 seconds, big respect. On a separate attack, Surrey scores. Dalton retaliates by dunking on them immediately after. Michael is determined to get major king because he is a major king and earns a second exclusion. 2 more goals from Surrey means James Popple is ready to beef with the opps and he does so well that he gives them a penalty (I know social secs like giving out pens but this was unnecessary). A couple more goals from Surrey put them unpleasantly ahead of us but another delicious shot from Dalton meant that the goal difference was one less than it would have been. As the time ran down on the clock Mr Teng made a valiant effort to put another mark on the match sheet and got himself excluded. Which lead to another goal from Surrey. Ouch. Final score? 6-14

With the amount of majors our team got I sure hope our dry side coach Miss Ratledge was making a mental note of how she could avoid making these same moves for her match against Bristol in a few days.

Written by Jack James.

Most Valuable Player: Sam Ellis for an impeccable job as goalie.

Dick of the Day: Max Björkman for fucking up his shoulder in the 3^rd quarter and incapacitating him for the duration of the game

Goals/Majors:

Sam Ellis 0/0

Michael Scott 0/2

Fernando Alvarez 0/1

Finn Thomas 0/1

Max Björkman 0/0

Samuel Dalton 4/0

Edward Wilkes 0/0

Jack James 0/0

Alex Wilmshurst 0/1

James Popple 0/1

John Nelson 1/0

Howard Teng 1/1

George Lea 0/0