Is it too Late to Say Surrey?

Report Author: Rhia Perks

Game: Southampton Women vs Surrey Women

Location: Jubilee Sports Centre

Score: 12-5

Date: 26/10/22

On Wednesday 26th, with absolutely no training since their previous loss, Soton women faced the second BUCS match of the season – Surrey. Hopes were high after 3 wins against them last year, but there was a slight panic when they arrived with a 7ft Aussie player. After interviewing Rhia about why she wasn’t allowed in the changing room (this might come as a shock, but Rhia is not in charge of Jubilee Sports Centre), the intimidation tactics were in play.

 After a very short warm-up, the girls flung straight into action – starting with an attack on the deep-end. We were very relieved to find their 7ft Aussie was in goal and not out-field, but it did mean some good shots were unfortunately deflected – and some bad ones from both Rhia and Katie, who have both agreed never to shoot like that again. Katie redeemed herself three rapid-fire shots, as well as one from Natalia. The audience decided to show off their new chants, as both Soton and Surrey began shouting “Go Stags!” without realising that the mascot for both teams is in fact a stag. Or they did realise, but didn’t want anyone to feel left out. No majors were earned in the entire quarter by either team – we are so friendly. Quarter one ends 4-0.

 The second quarter may have seen Soton face the consequences of over-cockiness. Surrey scored a goal, but Soton earned 2 evictions. Fresher, Rosie, secured her first ever major (in her first ever match) when the ref declared Surrey’s ball, but she picked it up anyway. We did scream “drop it!”, but she panicked and threw it into pit. Silly fresher. Lucia also earned a major, but at least this time it wasn’t for ignoring the ref. Their goalie began shouting “do not touch it! That ball is mine! Go away!” – bit weird, but at least it prevented any more mishaps. She also began loudly saying that the Soton pit player (Rhia) wasn’t going to shoot and even if she did, the goalie had defended all of her goals so far so she would definitely miss. Harsh, but not entirely inaccurate. Surrey also had a chat about why Rhia was holding their costumes when they weren’t wearing polo suits – maybe it’s because they got so rattled by it? Soton attempted a counter with just 5 seconds on the clock. Rhia swam for it and took out her anger on the Surrey player who had just grabbed her foot, kicking her straight in the eye (she was just trying to get them to let go and frankly why were they holding her foot so close to their face?). With no time to waste, she completely ignored the injured player and took a shot from halfway – with the goalie still living in her head rent-free, she missed. Surrey finished the quarter with one goal and one major, ending 4-2. No Soton goals in 8 minutes …

In quarter 3, the Soton girls suddenly remembered how to play. Captain Katie scored a goal in just 15 seconds. Claudia, however, only took 20 seconds to earn herself a major by grabbing onto someone’s costume and pulling them back whilst they were swimming. Soton successfully defended their man-up (which was not difficult when they had no idea what formation to be in), despite Surrey using their second time-out to prep for it. Once we had a full team back in the pool, Georgia scored her first goal for SUWPC! Katie also picked up three goals soon after (I think – rumour has it the score sheet is wrong), with Surrey securing one more for themselves. The lifeguard interrupted the cheering bench players to ask who needed the ice pack – the team briefly considered giving it to Rhia for her sore foot but decided to let the bruised Surrey player take it. Surrey managed to score again (maybe our defence slipped out of pity). Katie, immune to this nonsense, scored twice more. Surrey got a major, leaving Soton with a man-up. They set up beautifully, whilst Surrey decided to mark every player except the one in shooting position and holding the ball – needless to say, Katie scored again. The quarter ended 12-4.

 The final quarter was short and sweet (or as short as possible when the quarter is 8 minutes long – BUCS rules say it should only be 7 and I will complain until you fix it). Surrey scored a goal for themselves, whilst Soton picked up a couple more majors – both from Jess. These girls will do anything to have a mark by their name on the scoresheet. Soton didn’t pick up any goals here either – so that’s 50% of the quarters with no goals and yet they still won 12-5. Surrey apparently weren’t pleased and most of them walked away without shaking our hands, then left before Surrey men played Soton men. Got to love a team player.

Man of the Match

Georgia Skelton – scored her first goal for the club and generally played brilliantly.

Dick of the Day

Rhia Perks – for giving out the only battle scar of the match (even if it was their fault (and for blaming it on them)).

Names – Goals/Majors

Charlotte Ratledge – 0/0

Emily Bownes – 0/0

Acacia Bell – 0/0

Rosie Ramshaw – 0/1

Jasmine Brown – 0/0

Rhia Perks – 0/0

Katie Magill – 10/0

Lucia Ciardo – 0/0

Claudia Ellis-Bone – 0/1

Molly Slade – 0/0

Jess Grace – 0/2

Georgia Skelton – 1/0

Natalia Tsouka – 1/0


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