ABBA(rystwyth) aren’t singing

Report Author: Katie Smith

Game: Southampton Women vs Aberystwyth University (National Trophy)

Location: Jubilee Sports Centre

Score: 24-2

Date: 01/02/2023

It was the second game of the national trophy, and a full team of keen Southampton girls began to warm up at our beloved Jubilee pool. We were indeed very warm as there was a crash on the motorway which delayed half of the Aberystwyth girls and, tragically, ate into our precious Jesters time. However, with full focus on the game ahead of us, captain Katie oozed confidence when she gave us a lovely pep talk.

We narrowly lost the first swim off, but it didn’t matter as we regained possession quickly. They did win back the ball and bring it right down to their attacking end but clearly the pure site of our incredible keeper Lottie terrified them into fumbling it straight away. Our resident triathlete Molly swam the ball right down the pool and with a pit pass into Rhia a first goal was secured. Rhia followed this up by showing that their goalie was no match for her in the shallow end and scored two more goals in quick succession. Our defence was strong, and we won back possession very quickly which allowed Jasmine to score her first goal for Southampton right into the back of the net. They quickly responded with a lovely bounce shot. However, our confidence was not lost, we reformed a good defence and Rhia simply couldn’t resist scoring another two goals. Rhia, getting a bit too cocky, decided to attempt the crossbar challenge and the ball bounced right back for Elise to catch and score her first goal for Southampton, ending the quarter 7-1.

The Aberystwyth girls were already tired from their first quarter with no subs on their bench, so they decided to adopt some new tactics in the second quarter – violence and a new goalie. Spoiler alert: neither worked. Rosie won the swim off and then Captain Katie held the ball while we swam down the pool to set up an arc. Lucia swam right in from the wing and Katie passed in the ball for her to score. We then got a man up which we didn’t manage to score with, but Katie soon responded with a goal. Rhia then noticed she’d gone a whole two minutes without scoring so corrected that straight away. Our trio of Jas, Rhia and Katie began scoring goals like they were going out of fashion – 3 for Jas, 3 for Rhia, and 2 for Katie. We dominated the second quarter, ending the first half at 16-1.

Aber decided to delay the match for a second time, as one player sprinted to the bathroom bleeding. After realising none of us had touched her, rumours began to spread as to where the blood was coming from. In good spirits, we agreed to play 6v6 for the rest of the game. Captain Katie kicked off the quarter by winning possession and swimming the ball all the way down the pool for a goal in the shallow end. Aberystwyth then, proving that they hadn’t forgotten where the goal was, got down the pool quickly but their shot was no match for Lottie. Katie scored and Lottie made another excellent save. Aber were furious, so smacked Rhia in the face and were immediately sent out by our excellent refs. With another man-up, coach Alex called a time out to discuss tactics in our new 6v6 formation, we listened and passed the ball around for Rhia to score again. They then finally managed to get past Lottie and score from 5 metres, but their happiness was short lived when Katie scored, ending the quarter 20-2.

Captain Katie began the final quarter by winning the swim off and after a bit of fumbling of the ball it was passed to Tilly. Whether she was aiming for the goal or the goalies face was unclear, but she whacked it into the back of the net and that’s all that matters. The passes from the opposition were becoming sloppy and we regained possession quickly. Georgia broke free and swam right down the pool to get in on the scoring. Lucia managed to shake away her defender and do the same thing. The Aberystwyth girls were exhausted and had nothing left to give (except a nice elbow to little Katie’s face), so Rhia ended the game with a 10th goal (even if one of the refs immediately told her she’s rubbish in pit). The final score was 24-2 and off to the palace of dreams it was for a well-earned social.

Man of the Match – Jasmine Brown, for using her marine biology expertise to navigate her way round the bioluminescent fake tan of the opposition and score her first 4 goals for SUWPC.

Dick of the Day – Rosie Ramshaw, for temporarily going deaf and missing the opportunity to pass the ball into a completely undefended goal.

Names – Goals/Majors

No majors for SUWPC this time – well done girls!

Charlotte Ratledge – 0/0

Katie Smith – 0/0

Tilly Phillips – 1/0

Rosie Ramshaw – 0/0

Jasmine Brown – 4/0

Rhia Perks – 10/0

Katie Magill – 5/0

Lucia Ciardo – 2/0

Iris Bugnar – 0/0

Elise Roberts – 1/0

Molly Slade – 0/0

Georgia Skelton – 0/1

Natalia Tsouka – 0/0


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