Soton Outsmarts Barts

Report Author: Til Jordan

Game: Southampton Men vs Queen Marys (Barts)

Location: Jubilee Sports Centre

Score: 11-3

Date: 15/2/23

Team photo by Janek Codlin – SUPS.


With the SUWPC boys being second in their league, it was clear from the outset that Soton was a force to be reckoned with. The game started with a flurry of action, as Michael won the swim-off with ease. Our biggest of boys wasted no time getting on the scoreboard, with a goal from El presidente after a beautiful flick back from Dalton. Barts tried to fight back by viciously trying to drown our goalie Luke who held on to the ball for his life, resulting in a penalty for Barts. Luke was not distracted by this at all and brilliantly saved the penalty. As the quarter progressed, SUWPC seemed to be in complete control of the game, with goals from Dalton, Michael, and Alex extending their lead to 4-0. Howard got in on the action with a goal that left the Barts boys reeling. However, just as the first quarter was about to end, Dalton had no other chance but to stop their player in front of the goal, resulting in the second penalty of the match. This time, they managed to put it in the net, giving Barts a glimmer of hope. The quarter ended with SUWPC
being up 5-1 (attacking the shallow end!!).


The break between the quarters was used to check some of the boy’s finger nails after complaints were raised from the other team. Woody assured the ref that he would just bite his nails to solve the problem.
The second quarter started off strong again with Michael holding up to his promise of winning every swim-off. The Barts players were already clearly tired, having no subs. To make it more interesting, Dalton tried to have a little race with Michael but pushed off the wall too hard, resulting in a cramp. Barts saw the opportunity and scored the first goal of the quarter. But, as it turned out, this was just a brief respite, as Michael scored a brilliant goal to put SUWPC up 6-2. The game got slightly more physical and first exclusions were handed out. Barts did not seem to have learned about man-ups yet, giving them no chance to score a goal. Til, on his quest to impress Katie’s family, attempted a shot at goal which unfortunately did not bounce as intended and landed right in front of the keeper. Barts’ captain immediately copied this beautiful attempt at a bounce shot, frustratingly blaming the water for it. Our boys got the chance to demonstrate all the training that they had done by setting up their first man-up. After some unlucky passes first, everyone managed to set themselves up properly again, allowing Vincenzo to score. The goalies showed off their skills by saving multiple attempts including man-ups from Barts. Right at the end of the second quarter, Howard managed to get on the score sheet again after a perfectly set up man-up. The quarter ended 8-2 for Southampton.


After winning two swim-offs, Michael decided that it was a good idea to start swimming for the ball before the whistle was blown. The ball was immediately turned over to Barts, better luck next time Michael! This was not a problem for Southampton’s finest as they easily defended the attack. The ball was passed to Dalton who showed everyone how to do a proper bounce shot in the shallow end. Our very own social sec outswam his defender with ease and attempted a shot at goal, but missed. The consensus on the bench was that Popple should have swum into the empty middle rather than attempting the shot from the wing. In the next few minutes, we saw some shots from both sides. Southampton’s shots were usually on target whereas Barts were pretty far off or even completely unsuccessful when one of their players attempted a backshot (it did not go well). Popple decided to give it another go with a shot from the wing but as an engineer he should probably know that the angle is not great, especially in the shallow end. Barts managed to get another man-up but still not knowing how to set it up, it did not result in a goal. Howard got a pass right in front of the goal and was just about to shoot when the goalie brutally attacked him and got excluded. With no one in the goal, Dan reacted quickly and scored a goal setting the score at 10-2. The quarter ended with Ed being kicked out and Barts scoring their only goal in this quarter leaving it at 10-3.


In the last quarter, Michael had PTSD from his last swim-off and started swimming a bit late so Barts managed to get ahold of the ball briefly just to be overwhelmed by Dalton. Despite having a full team, Southampton seemed to get tired as well. After some subs, we managed to set up the arc again and our TJ showed Popple and Nathan that it is indeed possible to score from the wing but this time in the deep end. Our captain, also known as one bev chun, was now playing in pit and scored a goal after being pushed down slightly by his defender. However, Adam called an exclusion foul instead (it’s okay he wasn’t a qualified ref yet). Alex called a timeout, it’s unclear whether to rant about the reffing or to discuss the strategy for the following man-up. The boys set up the man-up just to realise that it was actually just a normal foul and no exclusion, confusion all around. The game ended with Miro having a “wee sit on
the other player” but unfortunately, that wasn’t allowed. The final score was 11-3, well done everyone.

Man of the Match – Adam Draper, for reffing two games back to back and securing his title of qualified referee!


Dick of the Day – Michael Scott. Hard to choose between Popple and Michael but it just had to be Michael for being called out at least three times by the ref for letting go of the poolside and starting the swim-off too early. Great goals in the match though.


Names – Goals/Majors

Luke Bennalick – 0/1

Til Jordan – 0/0

Ed Wilkes – 1/1

Miro Milanov – 0/0

James Popple – 0/0

Sam Dalton – 2/2
Daniel Ammon – 1/1

Vincenzo Bancale – 1/1

Alex Wilmshurst – 2/1

Michael Scott – 2/0

Woody Cho – 0/0

Howard Teng – 2/0

Nathan Dimond – 0/1

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