Thank UWE very much

Report Author: Alex Wilmshurst

Game: SUWPC Men’s 1s vs UWE Men’s

Location: Jubilee Sports Centre

Score: 30-4

Date: 3/11/2021

Upon the eve of Wednesday the 3rd of November, the gentlemen of SUWPC welcomed the University of West England’s men’s water polo to Jubilee Sports Centre. A fixture that, in the past, had often been dreaded by the biggest of all boys. However, upon inspection of UWE’s previous results, there was a sense of optimism amongst the squad. 

One by one, the players strolled into jubilee foyer. Another strong squad was listed after our fortunes in the previous game. With no issues with the pools chlorine levels, the game was allowed to commence without any disruption. A full warm up was completed and there was ample time for a pre-match talk about positions and bowel emptying.

The first quarter saw SUWPC attacking the shallow end. Despite this regularly being a disadvantage, you would be forgiven for thinking that this was the better end to be attacking. Upon UWE winning the first swim off, a press was applied and this instantly lead to a turnover in possession and SUWPC quickly countering to go 1-0 within 40 seconds thanks to Antonis. The quarter continued in a similar fashion with 6 more goals coming from swift counter attacks. All of last game’s goal scorers getting their names on the score sheet, along with a first goal for fresher Daniel Ammon. A 7-0 first quarter was a very pleasant way to start the game.

With the task ahead of the boys now fully understood, maximum rotation was put into effect. Whole pool substitutions became a common occurrence. The second quarter lead to a lot of changes to the starting seven, and as a consequence, a lot of new names on the scoresheet. Captain, Miro Milanov, got his first goal of the new season, along with Mr Great Chat himself – Sam Dalton – tallying up 4 goals in this quarter. There were also very first goals for the team coming from Til Jordan, cutting in from the wing and threading the ball between the keeper and the near post; and Luke Bennalick, catching the ball cleanly across his body and slotting it into the bottom left corner. 4 more goals came from the usual suspects and SUWPC were up 18-0 at half time. Comfortable to say the least.

At half-time, Miro decided that it was in the best interests of everyone to ensure that we develop the build up play, instead of maxing out the counter attacks. As a consequence, the goals were reduced for this quarter with SUWPC scoring only 3 and UWE also being allowed to score their first 2 goals of the game. There were some glaring opportunities wasted. It doesn’t matter who had the worst opportunities wasted, so I’ll just gloss over it because no one cares. It doesn’t matter how stupid attempting a chip in the shallow end is, I think we can all just agree we should move on. We also managed to find ourselves two-man down at one point after some confusion between the referees and between the players as to what the majors were for. However, Luke B rushing the keeper and wrestling him whilst he had two hands on the ball only drew a foul. This quarter ended 20-2. SUWPC were past the point of cruise control. We were at the point we had the car in neutral and were going downhill.

The final quarter saw us attacking the deep end and the goals resumed, even with some more coherent arcs being set up. There was another missed chip, and I’ll gloss over that as well as some more fresh faces got their names on the scoresheet. I managed to get three on the scoreboard, as did Michael Scott (not from the office) as he slotted away a penalty nicely won by Daniel. The usual suspects also pumped up their stats, and UWE got a handful of consolation goals. 30-4 final score. A good day in the office and well deserved pints were consumed in Stags.

This leaves the boys having a strong start to the season a with Aberystwyth visiting in 2 weeks time, the unbeaten start to the season is hoped to continue.

Man of the Match

Sam Dalton – took up some less glamourous positions in the game to give some anchorage to the side, whilst also getting the joint second most goals of the game

Mug of the Match

Whoever tried those awful lobs


Nimrod Abramovich – 0/0

Miro Milanov – 1/0

Til Jordan – 1/0

Omar Takowal – 6/0

Miro Georgiev – 2/1

Sam Dalton – 6/0

Daniel Ammon – 2/0

James Popple – 0/0

Alex Wilmshust – 3/0

Michael Scott – 1/0

Antonis Prodromou – 7/1

Luke Bennalick – 1/1

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